forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
