Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize