i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
