Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
