I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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