i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
