Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I will die if light touches me.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
