its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
