My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
high people should be assigned attendants
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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