So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
