it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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