Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
