Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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