used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
