Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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