Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
