Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
