Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
