its not stalking. its research.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
