he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
