found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
