I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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