You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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