haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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