Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
