Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
