They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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