I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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