His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
