Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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