she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
