Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
