Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
