All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
