he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
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