If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
