Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
