sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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