remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
