I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My breath smells like gin and sadness
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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