I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
