How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
