I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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