I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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