I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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