Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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