no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
