My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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