you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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