I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
