her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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