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1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
