i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
